“NO!” Loud and defiant. “NO it’s NOT going to happen. Get out. GET OUT!” She sits up in bed, more angry then scared.
“Honey, are you ok?”
“I’m fine. I’m going for a run.” She looks at the clock 5:30 its still black as pitch but she gets out of bed and pulls on her grey sweats. She stops at the refrigerator and gulps some orange juice from the carton. She double knots her shoes and slips out of the front door.
She heads north walking at first to stretch and warm up her legs. Focusing, refocusing on pleasant things. It’s not too long before she hears his footsteps behind her. She begins to pick up the pace. “I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid.” She murmurs to herself over and over.
East on 17th, through the park. His footsteps are louder. “I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid.” She says louder through her ragged breath. Then just to prove her point she takes a turn into the cemetery. She runs down the central path. She can feel him gaining ground. “I am NOT afraid!” Louder this time.
The sky has lightened considerably but the grey will remain in the day. She heads out the back gate, two short blocks and a left and she’s home. She comes in to the smell of coffee.
“Yea I’m good. I’m going to take a shower. My appointment’s at 8:30.”
“I will.” She takes her shower and gets herself ready. Makes herself a cup of coffee. She feels him waiting for her. “I am not afraid. It is not going to happen.”
40 minutes later she is in the doctor’s office. “Hello Alicia, I’ve got great news. There is no sign of the cancer’s return. That should ease your fears.”