Today's prompt comes from an article by Robert McCrum at guardian.co.uk
I live my life as always a response to mood and circumstance, of course don’t we all. Yes I know I’m supposed to go with the flow or grant grace, esteem others and be joyful in all circumstance but the truth is my life is merely a response. Some days, weeks, months, even years the circumstance overshadows every bit of my being; my mood melancholy my response dark, sad, miserable and overshadowed. As I look back even the joy of the time is shrouded in the memory of a gray malaise that circumstance had cast upon every aspect of my being. I look at pictures of that time and see no record of it but my memories are haunted by it. Every thought or peception of encounter held captive by the screen that overlayed the time frame. All days seem dark and overcast or rainy despite photographs of sunshine and flowers and butterflies and laughter.
By the same token if the circumstance were poor but love was in fresh bloom, the children young, the pleasures good than my memories hold no record of dark days. No rain, no misery despite little finances and too small houses, broken cars or family strife. And if there was rain than it was accompanied by glorious feasts, or happy times under the covers or on the couch watching God only knows what while eating cake and hot chocolate. I know that somehow in those early years of marriage there was crying but I remember laughter. Misery seemed to last only a moment in retrospect during those times. I don’t know that I was more grace giving then, probably less so then now but it seemed a gentler time.
Here’s to hopes of happy moods and joyful circumstances and if not then the memory that these times were good so in retrospect I will recall the singing of the birds, the bright flowers and fun and not the gray days, the dark nights. I do not wish misery to be the screen that these Christmases will be remembered through. Nor the memories recalled through a sudden darkened knowledge casting a sadness and heartache to the moments that become the record of my life.