Its 1:52 a.m. and the same thoughts go round and round and round in my head like a broken record. Try as I might I cannot make them cease and it all sounds very much like headlines from a CNN report and I just want it to stop.
He insists that we talk about the finances and work again and again and again as if any of these matter to any point of significance, if he only knew and I wonder again how we all ended up lost in this place without anchor or map as we drift so close to disaster.
“The sun will come out tomorrow” as Annie sings and it does while my nightmares reveal themselves in reality and my head is pounding with the same three or four or six sentences over and over and over again.
“Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile” I take a pill that hopefully will break the cycle of words in my head, read to distract and try to pray although none of it seems to be very effective.
The words on the back of the magazine read “Welcome to an even quieter world.” And I wonder if that would be better or worse because the noise in my brain becomes ever louder in the stillness but if there was a way to shut the noise in my head off. Now that might work. Fill the void, fill the void, fill the void.
Time to get up and do what needs to be done, and done and done.