Friday, March 21, 2008
Sarahs' prompt: "First she throws her watch away"
First she throws away her watch. There is no need for it here. The hour or minute is inconsequential in such a place. Even day or night, darkness and light, do not rule this world. She gets up and down to the rhythms set by another. She has no say, regardless of what she would or would not like to do, she must function according to the whims and caprice of this man. This is what she had wanted, wondered, hoped and dreamed about but she did not know that it would change so many things. She thought somehow she could do it all. But no, instead as she pours her tea and he calls her, she must leave it; only to return later and find it cold. She prepares dinner for them both and then he decides that he would prefer to sleep at that moment.
At times she feels like Katherine from The Taming of the Shrew, and the love of her life is Petruchio. For when she would call it night he insists that it is day and so she too must call the night day and the day night.
She finds that when she sets plans they constantly have to be broken or changed. "I'm sorry he decided to sleep for three hours this afternoon and I couldn't get away. He never does that." She is always, constantly, late. Even if she is ready on time at the last minute, something has to be changed or was forgotten. Or suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, he is out of sorts and it takes all of her to calm him. So honestly what good would a watch do?"
Her friends warn against it. “You can not allow him to control you like this,” they all say. "You'll be sorry if you let him sleep in your bed every night." But somehow for her it feels right; perhaps later she will try to regain control. Now however, he rules her days and her nights and through the exhaustion of it all, holding him close she knows that this is what she was meant for. She loves him so completely. So much more than anyone before, how could she have known? She kisses his soft sweet lips, breaths in his heaven scent and holds him close. She lies with him and as he sleeps, she stays awake and watches him breathe. She dreams of their tomorrows, so soon he will be walking and talking and they will have great adventures. Perhaps she will have need of a watch then, but not now, not here in this place. When that day comes who knows what she will throw away next.