Never, ever satisfied, wanting to be older, wanting to be younger, wanting to be taller, wanting to be shorter. That is why the ideal age is 18 month’s old. The littlest thing satisfies and you don’t know that there is more to be wanting. When watching commercials for pretty things that’s all they are pretty things - not pretty things that I don’t have and would want – just pretty things.
Looking for that magic moment, that handsome prince, that special place, that happily ever after if I could just have what someone else has. The faster car, the sweeter man, the bigger house would all satisfy for a moment until I see a faster car, a more caring lover, a prettier yard.
But wait, there it is right there in that pretty brochure with the beautiful sails or the swimming pool in the back. Why, oh why, oh why can’t I stop looking at what there isn’t and see what there is? In a house full of new furniture I long for antiques. If I had antiques why would I want this old stuff when there are such pretty colors, softer fabrics, glass and trim?
I have found one place that I am satisfied, right in the middle of time amongst friends and family. The joy of a shared meal, a time around the fire, or a quick game (ok who am I kidding there are no quick games) of Scrabble with coffee and Chris Rice in the background. A day in the park with Elli playing on the swings and slides, one more round of peek-a-boo around the tree. If I could live my life right there … that might work. Maybe I should try that and see if I could remain content, at least until the weather changes.