Saturday, June 4, 2011

June 4 - 300 words

Hot. It was hot. The energy sucking, breath stealing kind of hot that made it nearly impossible to get anything done, getting up out of the chair to get another glass of lemonade was an event of extreme human effort. The sun beat down on the asphalt causing a mirage and for the 100th time that week Alison wondered what in the world had possessed her to move from her lovely beach house in Malibu to this west Texas town.
Ordinarily she would not be this miserable. Ordinarily the air conditioner would be working and she would not be suffocating in this heat. But these were not ordinary times, for a solid week Abilene had been hammered by storm after storm. Not one but four tornadoes had caused damage in various parts of the town during the past week. Thankfully no one had been killed. Although the sky was clear now, as it had been almost every morning, the weatherman again was predicting another round of “hail producing thunderstorms with the possibility of tornadoes and flash floods” for later that afternoon and well into in the evening.
The storm Tuesday night had knocked out the power temporarily but Wednesday’s storm had literally destroyed several transformers and felled lines affecting all areas on the east end of Abilene. It was Saturday and she was seriously considering booking a flight back LA to escape it all. Her only concern was her horses. The last two nights there had been flooding along the stream that ran across the further end of her property. If the waters rose higher it would put the barn in jeopardy. AmberLee, her favorite horse was getting ready to foal in a couple of weeks and Alison did not want to leave the horse until the foal had arrived.


Christine Murray said...

I really liked the flow of this piece and your use of imagery was beautiful. If I had one piece of constructive criticism it would be that most of your sentences are quite long, and breaking some of them up may make for easier reading.

Keep it up though, this had me hooked!

trying to write ... said...

Thanks Christine!!! I appreciate your stopping by and the constructive criticism.


Siv Maria said...

Looking forward to reading more :) I too have a tendency to write long sentences and I am always finding myself going back and breaking them back :)