Masks of Civility

Who we are hidden behind masks of civility
Holding close what we wish to never reveal
until the day
when the pressure of overarching pain brings to the surface the suffering of secrets long cloaked in darkness finally revealed.
Passions ignited,
enflaming us to scream,
shaking and aching and broken
smoldering in the aftermath
And then utterly burned out leaving us shattered and silent
wishing for death in the stillness.

When comes a grey rain that cries for us tears that are long overdue.
Finally we get up and go on,
no other option available to us,
too weak or too wise to end it all
too fearful of losing what we now value to bring to light what is hidden.

Stuffing the pain
Trying to make sense of what we have learned
Wishing that the past could be undone
Hurts healed,
Rescues made when they were most needed
Secrets revealed long ago
so something,
anything
could have been done to stop the damage and the ruin that lead us to this place.

Blaming ourselves
blaming others,
finding no one to blame but time and circumstance and blindness and a lack of understanding.

Longing for the day when we will know and be known
Without fear of rejection
In a place where there is no suffering
And we are not found less beautiful because of secrets long hidden.

Until then

The greater secrets revealed held close,
Aching to reach through to help those who are hurting but desperate
to protect ourselves and others.
So we eat chocolate and carry on casual conversations
Who we are, hidden behind masks of civility.