Will you always love me? Or will you stop some day and leave me. This fear takes possession of my days and nights. I lean over in the dark and listen to you breathe. A smile crosses your lips and I worry that I might not be it’s inspiration. In the morning I mention that late night smile and you say you don’t know why you were smiling. Are you lying?
I look in your eyes to see if you love me but I can’t quite read them and your kiss seems a bit distracted as you head out the door. When I call you midmorning, you’ve no time to talk and I wonder if maybe you don’t want to talk to me.
I call to see if you’d like to have lunch but you mention a lunch appointment. I imagine your lunch appointment and she is tall and blonde and she makes you laugh. I hate her and am certain I’ve lost you to her.
You call mid-afternoon but I am pouting and you don’t know why, so you get off the line as quickly as possible. No I love you there. You call back a few minutes later and I smile thinking you’ve called me back to tell me so but you are only calling to remind me that you’re going out with the guys from the office and won’t be home until late. Love you too is what you say before you hang up.
By the time you arrive home I’m hysterical, neurotic and insane. You’re confused, no comprehension of why I would think such things. Of course you love me. You smile and kiss my swollen face.
“Baby, I love you. I will always love you. Believe me,” you whisper to my heart pulling me close.